Christmas Songs Underground
by tmwillson3
Summary: Did you know that there is a standard set songs and their variations allowed to be sung by the goblins in the Underground during Christmas? Some are allowed because Jareth and Sarah like them, while others because they are popular with the goblins. Some will surprise you, others just make you smile. Christmas song parodies, very silly and fluffy, with SxJ moments hinted.


Christmas Songs Underground

**Author's Disclaimer: No, I do not own Labyrinth, or any of the associated songs lovingly used here. All rights go to their respective owners. I was listening to Christmas music one day, and I couldn't help but wonder what the goblins sang Underground at this time of the year. When Sarah became Goblin Queen, I imagine she brought the Christmas tradition with her. There are songs preferred by the happy monarchs, while others are preferred by the goblins. Enjoy!**

Songs Sung By Jareth and Sarah

These songs are preferred by the happy couple, and most often, are sung only by these two, except for the second variation of The Twelve Days of Christmas. Excerpts from the song, or whole lyrics, are included in italics, followed by a brief description of where it came from.

**Baby It's Cold Outside**

_Sarah: My step-mom will be excited. Jareth: For which I'd be delighted._

_Sarah: My brother will be wanting a ring. Jareth: Something I will happily bring._

-Sarah and Jareth first sang this after one Christmas Eve when Sarah came to celebrate with Jareth, and he used all of his good looks and charm to convince her to stay the night. Needless to say, they got engaged soon after that event.

-SJ-

**Jareth Baby**

_Jareth baby, just make my own personal bog, for me._

_The goblins been extra bad, Jareth baby, / So come and put a bog out tonight. _

-Depending upon what Sarah wants for Christmas, there is more than one way to convince Jareth to get her what she wants. After being initially shocked the first time she did it, Jareth now enjoys a yearly performance as she tries to convince him.

-SJ-

**Goblins We Have Heard Too Much** (To the tune of "Angels We Have Heard on High")

_Goblins we have heard too much / Loudly singing Jareth's praise_

_And the chickens try as such/ To be louder for some days_

_Clucking "No more goblins", rabid to the touch / Pecking "No more gobins" 'til their beaks hurt too much_

-Sarah and Jareth love their subjects just as much as the next, but even they have their limits, especially during national holidays and the goblins have had a little too much to drink. Christmas eventually became one of those holidays, where it became common to give each other's chickens to neighbors and pour each other's drinks. The former action was done since other goblins don't like giving away their own chickens, and the latter action simply causes more ale to be spilled, which the monarchs actually prefer. The monarchs enjoy singing the chorus most, stretching out the "more" as long as possible, even competing to see who can hold it longest.

-SJ-

**Let It Snow**

_Oh, the goblins outside are frightful, / But the bed is so delightful._

_And since their sugar's not low,/ Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow._

_The cookies just keep appearing, /And the goblins keep a-cheering._

_There's no place we'd rather go./ Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow._

_The noise is still not dying, / And we have given up trying._

_So as long as you love me so./ Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow._

_With goblins in a tizzy,/We're gonna have a whole night alone._

_Tonight we will be quite busy / With the occasional moan._

_Our noise is slowly dying, /Though we are no longer trying._

_And we love each other, so / Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow!_

-There are nights when goblins somehow manage to find the hidden sugar cookies, and Sarah and Jareth know better than to interfere, especially when they can have some alone time of their own.

-SJ-

**The Twelve Gifts of Christmas**

_For the twelfth gift of Christmas, my Jareth gave to me: twelve days of snowing, eleven pendants dangling, ten songs a-singing, nine goblins dancing, eight crystals juggling, seven times massaging , six hours of reading, five leather suits, four pairs of gloves, three horses, two baby rooms, and a white owl in a peach tree._

**The Thirteen Gifts of the Labyrinth** (A variation created by Sarah, fixed by goblins)

_For the thirteenth gift of running, the Labyrinth gave to me: thirteen hours running, twelve goblins guarding, eleven chickens flying, ten hands a-helping, nine rocks for stepping, eight voices false-alarming, seven faces hiding, six minutes bogging, five helpful creatures, four red fireys, three taken hours, two confused guards, and some dancing in a peach dream. _

-Jareth enjoys giving Sarah gifts, and these are some of the highlights of those gifts, put into song by Sarah. The second variation was made after Sarah reflected more on her first time in the Labyrinth, and then the goblins added and changed bits so they could sing it.

Songs Sung By the Goblins

The goblins enjoy celebrating Christmas, and many traditions have been started since Christmas came. Some of those include decorating the bog to confuse others, having another official feast day (and nap the day after), chicken judging, and present giving.

**Deck The Bog**

_Deck the Bog with lots of presents, tra la la la la la la la la. _

'_Tis the season to hide the scents, tra la la la la la la la la._

_Throw upon some dirt for color, tra la la la la la la la la,_

_So it looks like homey squalor, tra la la la la la la la la._

_Add some snow to trick the others, tra la la la la la la la la,_

_Place out mugs of one another's, tra la la la la la la la la._

_Get the others into trouble, tra la la la la la la la la,_

_So they're knocked out on the double, tra la la la la la la la la._

_Watch them wander 'til they're angry, tra la la la la la la la la,_

_Then they drink because they're hungry, tra la la la la la la la la._

_Don't forget where you put something, tra la la la la la la la la_

_Or you did it all for nothing, tra la la la la la la la la._

-The goblins take great joy in filling each other's mugs with bog water and trying to trick someone else into drinking it. The problem, of course, is that sometimes they get tricked into drinking the very mug they filled.

-SJ-

**Do You Hear What I Hear?**

_A child, a child, shivers in the cold, let us bring him some blankets rolled. _

-The goblins love children, so songs that talk about children have a special place in their heart. They love the call and repeat part of the song, though they would have given slightly different presents to the child sleeping in the cold, whether it be blankets to keep him cold, or old bread with mold.

-SJ-

**Rudolph the Red-Nosed Goblin**

_You know Disher, Drinker, and Printer, and Kithin. Vomet, Stupid, and Dresser, and Baker. But do you recall the most famous goblin of all?_

_Rudolph the red-nosed goblin had some yellow chicken eggs,_

_And if the chickens saw them, they'd run on their skinny legs._

_All of the other goblins hid their eggs with practiced ease;_

_They never let poor Rudolph hide his eggs when he said please._

_Then one happy Christmas Eve, Jareth came to judge_

_Which eggs' chicken was the best:_

_Rudolph's egg won the contest._

_Then all the goblins partied, as they tried to steal his eggs._

_Rudolph the red-nosed goblin didn't get to drink his kegs._

-It had always been thought by the goblins that white eggs produced the largest chickens, but after one goblin brought in a yellow egg's chicken, it was found to be slightly larger than the others after hatching. The poor little guy couldn't celebrate since he was trying to protect his eggs, but eventually, he did, and then the yellow eggs were shared. Sarah had not taught the goblins the extra little phrases that could be said at the end, for fear of what they would add, but she enjoyed whispering into Jareth's ear the part about "in his underwear". Jareth just grinned about that and the great names he had given the other goblins.

Songs Not Allowed by the Goblin King (but sung quietly):

**Jingle Bells**

_Fighting in the snow/ About whose parents to see,_

_Jareth did say no/ To his family,_

_Sarah certainly/ Thought Jareth a hog,_

_So Sarah pushed him suddenly/ And he was in the bog._

_Jingle Bells, / Jareth smells, visiting the bog._

_Sarah's nose has a hose til Jareth takes a bath (hey!)_

-It was after several Christmases of just seeing Sarah's family that Sarah insisted upon seeing Jareth's family again. However, Jareth was avoiding it as long as possible, and so their fight was memorialized by all the goblins (much to their chagrin). The happy couple has since decided to alternate visiting each other's family each year.

-SJ-

**Glitter Wonderland**

_In the streets, glitter's glistening./It blinds your sight,/Even at night,/Walking in a Glitter Wonderland._

-Jareth doesn't appreciate what the goblins imply about his glitter in this song, so they know better than to sing it around him, lest they get bogged.

-SJ-

**Dinner Bells**

_Dinner bells, dinner bells/It's feasting time in the city!_

_Presents come, wrapped with gum / Who doesn't love Christmas Day? _

-The goblins are very fond of food and presents, but sometimes they go overboard talking about it. Eventually the line must be drawn when there is too much talk of food, and this unlucky song was chosen by the monarchs.

-SJ-

**We Want a Squirt Gun or Nerf Gun for Christmas**

_We want a squirt gun or nerf gun for Christmas. /Only those particular guns will do. _

_Don't want a bath, or visits to the bog, / We want those guns to hit each other with as we jog._

-After Toby brought his nerf guns to visit Sarah one time, those guns, as well as all other guns, were outlawed, lest anymore nerf missiles get stuck to the ceiling.

**Author's Notes: Yay for Christmas silliness! These are popular Christmas songs and their variations available in the Goblin Kingdom. Sorry these are a couple days late, but according to my faith tradition, I am still celebrating Christmas for another three days. Originally, this was going to be two parts, the allowed and not allowed, but I decided to put it all in one. Many thanks to my sister, who helped inspire me for "Jareth Baby"! Also, I know does not like published lyrics or lists, hence why everything is changed accordingly. Merry Christmas! For everyone else, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year! Much love and wishes for health and safety during the holiday season!**


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